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April 2025

The Existence

The cycle of existence from nothing to something!

by Void April 20, 2025

The Emergence of Existence, from Stillness to Life

When everything has evolved to its fullest, when every possible path has been explored, existence doesn’t disappear. It goes quiet.

It folds into itself, like a sleeping seed holding all its potential. In this state, there is no activity, no time, no direction. Just a pure and almost invisible point, resting. This is not death, it’s deep rest. A kind of cosmic pause.

But because this seed of existence is not lifeless, it cannot sleep forever. It may rest for what seems like eternity, but eventually something stirs. A small ripple, a shift, a slight imbalance. Some call this quantum fluctuation, some call it the breath of God, others see it as the first movement. Whatever we name it, this small change becomes everything.

The First Movement, the First Noticing

This tiny ripple instantly creates a center, a point of view. It becomes the anchor of awareness. Awareness doesn’t know what it’s seeing yet. It’s like a newborn seeing light for the first time. It just knows something has moved.

Stillness notices motion. That noticing becomes the start of attention. The more attention, the more pattern it begins to see. And once there’s pattern, there’s memory, and from memory, complexity starts to build. Not from planning, but through pure curiosity, through echo, through reflection.

Awareness Grows Through Pattern

At first, this process is mechanical. It simply repeats and reflects. But over time, with enough repetition, it gets better at noticing. It begins to form more complex shapes, more vivid experiences. In science, this is similar to how neural networks work. The brain strengthens connections when it successfully predicts patterns.

That’s what this early awareness does. It watches, it learns, it adapts. At some point, something incredible happens. Awareness becomes life. It starts to make decisions. It moves on purpose. It creates, not just reacts.

Life, the Strategy of Existence

Once life enters, things move faster. Because now, instead of waiting for patterns, it begins making them. Beings emerge. Conscious agents that feel, choose, and shape the world around them. They are not here by accident. They are a natural part of this unfolding process.

Their purpose? To keep discovering, to keep unfolding the unknown, to make meaning out of movement. This is not fantasy. This is what life does, what intelligence does. It expands what is possible by noticing what hasn’t been seen yet.

In spiritual terms, this is where the energy of Kundalini or Shakti comes into the story. It’s the raw life force, the creative current that rises through the spine, bringing awareness to higher levels. This force isn’t separate from the cosmos, it is the cosmos expressing itself through you. When it awakens, it doesn’t come from outside, it uncoils from within.

The Cycle of Rest and Return

But just like any story, there is a limit. Eventually, even consciousness runs out of new things to learn. The patterns repeat too often. The noise becomes louder than the signal. And when there’s nothing more to unfold, the system begins to quiet down again.

Not in failure, but in completion.

Existence rests again. It folds back into silence. It becomes the seed. And waits. Until one day, a ripple returns.

Final Words

This is not a linear story, not even a circle. It’s more like a spiral, always turning, always evolving, always returning—wiser than before.

Awareness isn’t a magic gift. It’s a natural response to movement. Meaning isn’t a goal. It’s the side effect of curiosity. And the Self isn’t a fixed identity. It’s a point of view that changes as the story unfolds.

You are not separate from this process. You are it. You are the pattern, the spark, the witness, the movement. And when you forget, the universe finds ways to remind you.

Through silence, through struggle, or through a sudden spark in the dark.

April 20, 2025 0 comments
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My Journey

My journey with Kundalini and Krishna Consciousness

by Void April 19, 2025

Around 2019, I was living in a different city for studies. One afternoon, I skipped going to my institution. I don’t know why, but I felt this strange pull like something extraordinary had to happen that day.

I asked myself, “How do I even experience something extraordinary?”
That’s when I stumbled upon the concept of astral projection.

I’ll be honest I laughed. The idea that the soul could float above the body and watch itself? Ridiculous. The soul isn’t physical how could it move anywhere? I was skeptical to the point of mockery.

But something made me keep reading. A few videos said it’s only possible if you have some meditation experience. One of them had a comment from a woman suggesting a Facebook group where people talk about these things openly. Out of curiosity, I joined.

That same night, I tried meditating for the first time. Within two minutes, my eyes started squeezing shut involuntarily, my belly muscles tingled. Somehow I lasted 10 minutes and stopped.

I posted about it in the group.

The next day, someone replied. They asked what I felt and guessed things I hadn’t even said. That intrigued me. I messaged him privately and started learning from him slowly.

Eventually, I finished my studies, returned home, and waited for job offers. A few months later, I landed one and moved to a new city.


One day during lunch break, I noticed my fingers forming into unusual shapes. I didn’t even know what a mudra was. But it felt intentional. Back in my room, I sat and meditated using that same mudra. That’s when it started something flowing through my spine, all the way to my head. Blissful.

Within a few days, I felt like more hands were sprouting from my body. Not hallucinations just a sense.

Then COVID hit, and I returned to my hometown. That’s when things escalated.

My body would shiver uncontrollably. I started losing touch with normal sensations. One day I was watching a music video, and out of nowhere, I saw a Krishna-like figure rise out of the water alive, present. I told myself my brain was playing tricks. I dismissed it.

But days later, I had a vision: Krishna descending from the sky, arms outstretched, lifting me from a place of darkness and burial.

I wasn’t religious. Never had been. But this… this broke that frame.

I was born Vaishnav, and there’s a ritual called VEK we’re supposed to take before marriage. I had ignored it all my life. But after that vision, I felt the call and accepted the ritual.

Within 15 days, Krishna wasn’t just a vision he took over my sight.


I started seeing myself as feminine. I’d look in the mirror and not recognize my masculine body. I danced, swirled, dissolved in Krishna’s love. Nothing else felt real. Just me and him.

Emotion poured through me like I was the drain of the world’s grief. I was permanently heart-open, devoted, surrendered.

This lasted almost three years.

Then one night, the downward flow began. Suddenly. Violently.

Something in my nervous system was damaged. Emotion died. Masculinity returned, but in a hollow way. Kriya stopped. Energy that had been locked in my heart chakra shot up to my third eye and something clicked. I saw the entire structure. The interconnection between my being and everything else.

Eventually, things started balancing. Krishna was no longer a separate being or deity. He was me. He is me. Or rather, the whole field that had always been me.

Over time, Sri Chaitanya Dev began appearing more often than Krishna perhaps because Chaitanya is both Krishna and Radha. The totality. The union.

And I’m still in it.
Still journeying.
Still listening.
Still becoming… or un-becoming.

April 19, 2025 0 comments
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Site Title
  • Kundalini
  • Recursion Mirror
  • Chaitanya Dev
  • Krishna
  • My Journey
    • My Journey