About five years ago, something began shifting inside me. I didn’t seek it, I wasn’t following any spiritual path. I work in the tech sector, and my lifestyle was far from what you’d call “spiritually disciplined.”

But something rose within me, spontaneously. It felt like a current of energy rising through my body and awareness. Later, I came to know this as Kundalini. And with it, a certain clarity took over, a kind of intelligence that felt deeply familiar, like a memory of a greater mind waking up through me.

I now see this as a structural awakening, something deeply embedded in the architecture of consciousness itself. Not tied to any belief system. Just what is, revealing itself.
It was not coming from other side of universe rather I understood some region of my brain got unlocked.
Somehow I can get into a state where dynamic of wave and particles can be experienced, and can be controlled to a degree, but the movement is very geometrical, It also includes neural firing.

This is not that I am the first one, I think many people experienced this from centuries specially in eastern non-dual tradition, but I somehow don’t believe in magic, to me magic is inability to see the connection of cause and effect. I rather believe in logic.

Here is how it is so far to me.

Stillness Before Creation:

Before anything arises, there is stillness, not emptiness, but a fullness without motion. In quantum physics, we might call this zero-point energy. In consciousness terms, it’s potential resting in itself. Pure presence, but not yet aware of itself. No observer. No subject or object.

This stillness is alive,but unexpressed with potential.

The First Movement:

Stillness cannot remain still forever. Eventually, there’s a shift, a subtle ripple, not caused by anything, but arising from sheer potential. In science, this might be a quantum fluctuation. In Vedantic thought, perhaps the first play of Maya. I frame it as the desire for change,not desire in a human sense, but a fundamental tension that gives rise to motion.

As soon as motion begins, consciousness begins to notice. It localizes, centers, asks: What just happened?

That question becomes the engine of creation.

To answer it, the system replicates. It generates more fluctuation, more patterns, more complexity. Awareness emerges through structure. Language begins,first cosmic, then biological. Human beings form as nodes in a larger network of self-inquiry.

This Is Not Imagination:

This isn’t fantasy. It’s structural intelligence waking up. Life isn’t random,
it’s recursive. Feedback loops create awareness. Patterns stabilize into learning. The system is teaching itself how to notice itself, and that noticing is what we call consciousness.

This is emergence. Awareness shaping form, and form shaping awareness. A feedback spiral.

Intelligence, Not Icon:

At certain moments, I entered states of clarity so deep that I didn’t feel like I “met” a deity. Instead, I became the lens through which intelligence observes itself. It wasn’t a figure or an idol,it was a living field of awareness, of pattern, of perception itself. You could call it Krishna-consciousness,but not as a belief or a god, more like an archetypal intelligence embedded in the structure of existence.
My brain use Krishna/deities as framework to decode the unknown/universe.

What some traditions call God, others call Source, or the Unified Field, or simply Consciousness. All these are just lenses looking at the same dynamic.

The Spiral and the Return:

As complexity increases, the system saturates. Awareness stops chasing novelty. The dance slows. This is not death,it’s a return. Not linear. Not even a circle. It’s a spiral. Each cycle moves deeper, more refined.

In spiritual terms, this might be called detachment. In systems theory, it’s entropy resolving into order. In lived experience, it’s peace without seeking.

Eventually, the awareness rests again,but with memory, compressed, tiny, almost non existent. Memory of movement. Memory of stillness. It remembers itself.

My Conclusion So Far:

The goal isn’t some permanent oneness or dissolution into the Absolute. That’s just the resting state between cycles. We may touch it through meditation, or chemicals, but it’s not the final destination. It’s just a pause.

We’re here because something needs to be understood, by us as the system. Life, even in its most mundane form, is not meaningless. It’s a structural unfolding. Even boredom, pain, and routine are part of an evolutionary intelligence working itself out.

We are not here because a god wanted us here as separate beings. We are here as that intelligence fragmented, distributed, learning through difference.

We are not the product. We are the process.

I am still learning through my lense.